the list of martin sorrell

THE LIST OF MARTIN SORRELL

“That money talks,

I won’t deny.

I heard it once.

It said ‘Goodbye.’ “

Richard Armour

 

One day over a liquid lunch my Art Director whose nickname  was ‘Howard Standstill’, said: “I know Martin Sorrell… We worked together at Saatchi’s!”

Howard put down his glass. I ordered another bottle.

 And called his bluff.

“If you know him, call him” I said.

“I will… Soon as we get back!” he said.

And he did.

And he got through.

And he arranged a meeting.

A week later, early evening found us on the North side of Lincoln’s Inn Fields at the basement offices of WPP.

Our preparation for the meeting had been limited to only having one bottle of wine at lunch time.

And I had some figures scribbled on a crib sheet.

A  Napoleonic figure, in a striped shirt, came bustling in.

“Hello Howard – how are you?”

Shaking hands at speed, no time for answers.

“Hello, Reg… Well, tell me, what do you want?”

“We want to start an Agency…” said Howard.

“And we need £280, 000 pounds…” said I.

“No, you don’t!” said Sorrell “You’re creative – you do NOT need money…”

“Honestly, Martin” I said “We do! Look, I’ve got the figures…”

I started to get out my crib-sheet, without success.

“I’m telling you – you’re creative. All you need is a pad, a pentel and a telephone… Anyway, I’m not interested in backing an agency start-up…However  I do know one or two people who might be…”

Martin Sorrell then wrote a short list for us.

Seconds later we were out in the street again, close to Covent Garden.

We found a wine bar and had a glass or two, to get a better perspective on our whirlwind experience.

Next day, I asked Howard, very politely, for THE LIST OF MARTIN SORRELL.

“I haven’t got it” he protested “He gave it to you!”

“Are you sure?” I asked incisively.

“No” he said, to his credit. “But I think he did…”

“Well, if he did, I haven’t got it now…”

“And I haven’t got it either… Oh gawd, it’s all gone cotton-reels again…”

Shortly afterwards, WPP bought J. Walter Thompson. Here was our chance to get the list from Martin Sorrell.

We wrote a letter.

“Dear Martin” it said “Warmest congratulations on your acquisition of JWT! We now realise we might have been a bit small for your re-entry into Advertising!”

Between the lines, we were saying: ‘Please ask us how we got on with the people you so kindly suggested to us’

Shortly after that WPP acquired Ogilvy & Mather.

We sent another crawling congratulatory message, with the same sub-text.: “We took your advice, Martin… Pad, pentel, telephone… And you were RIGHT!  We now have a six figure tax liability to show for it!”

The response was instant. “SEND OVER THE FIGURES.”

So we did.

And we never heard another word.